ah...home

it is weird being home. my friends here are not my friends that i left at home three months ago. they are still wonderful. but we are all different. my family is not the family i left at home three months ago. but they still put the fun in dysfunctional. my life is not the life i left at home three months ago. i dont have a "but" for that one. life is ever changing i realize. i am not discontent. no way. i love where i am and who i am becoming. but, i guess i just saw this break differently than how it went. i wanted to rest and read and spend time with my sister and my friends. the funny thing is that, right now, the first two didnt happen. my sister is in nashville right now, and my friends who live in nashville arent there right now. but my friends who live in birmingham are not around. i mean, i know i havent been particularly available with my time, but my phone does ring.

i was glad to see jeremy. i think of anyone, i have missed him the most. i had forgotten how comfortable i feel around him. we are so different, but at the same time so great together. he is a friend that will never leave me, no matter how long we are apart.

i dont really know what to make of this time i have spent at home. it has been good. but i just wish it had been more wonderful. i am beginning to realize that i cant get my hopes up for christmas break.

my struggle with me

My Struggle with Me
by Daniel Ritter

I need go away from here
and find a sweet release
to withdraw inside myself,
to rediscover peace.

Its been so long since I've had rest.
I need to go and be.
Until whats best reveals itself
in a form that I may see.

Its lonely on this mountainside
surrounded by the snow.
But I'll keep moving silently
against my self-same foe.

I am my enemy,
and my enemy is strong.
Though I may be weak before his might,
my enemy is wrong.

So I will battle up this hill
with each breath I give.
Till I see home on the other side,
where, finally, in peace I'll live.