21 November 2008
it felt like christmas tonight
i just have a few pictures from an amazing night with alex. we went to the opryland hotel (she had never been before) and looked at all the lights. we also did the carriage ride. first, we had delicious sushi at ru san's. it made for a perfect evening.
14 November 2008
09 November 2008
being left behind
not so long ago i remember saying that my greatest desire was to be part of a new revolution within the church. my passion and zeal for this goal were important enough to me that i delved into authors like brian mclaren, rob bell, and donald miller. i read their works and decided to throw out much of my religious upbringing. i rebelled vehemently against my traditional southern baptist roots under the guise of "thinking for myself." i even quit going to church for a year because i felt i was called to a different kind of community. when i did begin going to church again, i joined a church that, in concept and design, militated violently against the church setting of my childhood and youth. i joined a school of religion in order to advance my knowledge and comprehension of scripture and religion.
but where has that brought me?
i feel like i've left behind my zeal for reformation. it is no less a part of who i am, but i think i've become too disillusioned, too tired of working toward change. i haven't been to church in almost a month again. the strange thing is that i have nothing against my church this time like i have in the past.
could it be that i actually miss some of the tradition of my childhood?
i had all these preconceptions about what being an adult in church would be like. all these desires to grow up back before the epic turns of 2001 and my religious awakening of 2007. i think a part of me wishes i was part of a southern baptist church like the one i grew up in. not for the size. not for the sunday school class. most certainly not for the pastor. but for the things i feel like i've missed.
and that, i'm pretty sure, is the heart of it all.
but where has that brought me?
i feel like i've left behind my zeal for reformation. it is no less a part of who i am, but i think i've become too disillusioned, too tired of working toward change. i haven't been to church in almost a month again. the strange thing is that i have nothing against my church this time like i have in the past.
could it be that i actually miss some of the tradition of my childhood?
i had all these preconceptions about what being an adult in church would be like. all these desires to grow up back before the epic turns of 2001 and my religious awakening of 2007. i think a part of me wishes i was part of a southern baptist church like the one i grew up in. not for the size. not for the sunday school class. most certainly not for the pastor. but for the things i feel like i've missed.
and that, i'm pretty sure, is the heart of it all.
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