12 July 2009
p90x - defunct
okay...as great as keeping a separate blog for p90x seemed, it was just too much to handle...BUT i am still on program and am having a fantastic time with it. i just finished my second week, and i've already dropped almost 8 pounds. so...pretty exciting...
05 July 2009
retrospect
it is interesting to me how forcefully i ran from the life i led in high school once i graduated. i was undeniably ready to be free from spain park, and every fiber of my being longed to be at belmont. both of those sentiments remain today, i assure you. yet something in me wishes i could relive so many moments of my high school years. i wish i could go back to auburn university in early 2003 to experience coming in a surprise third place with the people who i considered my family. i wish i could spend one more night in the front seat of my best friend's car before getting my driver's license debating the finer points of theology as i knew it at the time. i wish i could sit in on "family time" at park singers retreat one more time.
a couple days ago i had a long conversation with someone who i had forgotten was incredibly dear to me. as she and i talked about everything from family to the future, i was reminded that i miss her terribly in my life. she and i had known each other since first grade, but it was during high school that we really grew close. now both our lives are heading toward adulthood, and each year we encounter more things that require us to look maturity in the face. but for some reason i know that no matter how much older we get, i will always have her as someone who makes me feel safe, who makes me feel loved.
conversations with people like that make me miss living in birmingham and, yes, even being in high school. i wouldn't trade any part of the last three years for anything. however there are moments when i want to drag people and places into the life i have here in nashville. i know that god has placed me here for a reason, and i see the fruits of my decision to go to belmont four years ago all around. but that doesn't make it any easier. i have several friends who know about my life and about my past experiences. my best friend, my brother for all intents and purposes, has only known me for three years, but we have an intimate understanding of each other. but sometimes it would be nice to not have to explain anything about the thirteen years of school that led up to belmont. it would be nice to have people around who know why i am the way i am, as much as i railed against the concept as i left for college.
so, if you are reading this and you were a friend of mine in high school, an actual friend who knew me well and deeply, know that i do think of you and miss you and wish i still had that kind of relationship with you. i know all of us have changed so much in the last three (or more) years, but i feel as though perhaps even now we would be more prepared to be friends. as we have each come in to who we truly are, shedding the outer layers of popularity and childhood, maybe now we could have an even truer friendship.
maybe i'm rambling, but it feels good to get all this off my chest. i love being in college, and i love being in college where i am. i love my friends here, and i love my life here. but i sometimes really do wish more of my true friends from high school could and would be part of this life.
a couple days ago i had a long conversation with someone who i had forgotten was incredibly dear to me. as she and i talked about everything from family to the future, i was reminded that i miss her terribly in my life. she and i had known each other since first grade, but it was during high school that we really grew close. now both our lives are heading toward adulthood, and each year we encounter more things that require us to look maturity in the face. but for some reason i know that no matter how much older we get, i will always have her as someone who makes me feel safe, who makes me feel loved.
conversations with people like that make me miss living in birmingham and, yes, even being in high school. i wouldn't trade any part of the last three years for anything. however there are moments when i want to drag people and places into the life i have here in nashville. i know that god has placed me here for a reason, and i see the fruits of my decision to go to belmont four years ago all around. but that doesn't make it any easier. i have several friends who know about my life and about my past experiences. my best friend, my brother for all intents and purposes, has only known me for three years, but we have an intimate understanding of each other. but sometimes it would be nice to not have to explain anything about the thirteen years of school that led up to belmont. it would be nice to have people around who know why i am the way i am, as much as i railed against the concept as i left for college.
so, if you are reading this and you were a friend of mine in high school, an actual friend who knew me well and deeply, know that i do think of you and miss you and wish i still had that kind of relationship with you. i know all of us have changed so much in the last three (or more) years, but i feel as though perhaps even now we would be more prepared to be friends. as we have each come in to who we truly are, shedding the outer layers of popularity and childhood, maybe now we could have an even truer friendship.
maybe i'm rambling, but it feels good to get all this off my chest. i love being in college, and i love being in college where i am. i love my friends here, and i love my life here. but i sometimes really do wish more of my true friends from high school could and would be part of this life.
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