"Either Christianity itself is flawed, failing, untrue, or our modern, Western, commercialized, industrial-strength version of it is in need of a fresh look, a serious revision.
~
You can't talk about this sort of thing with just anybody. People worry about you. They may think you're changing sides, turning traitor. They may talk about you as if you came down with some communicable disease. So you keep this sort of thing like a dirty secret, this doubt that is not really a doubt about God or Jesus or faith but about our take on God, our version of Jesus, our way of faith. You let it out only when you feel you have found someone you can trust.
~
And when you do, and the other person says, 'I can't believe you're saying this. I ahve felt the same way, but I thought I was the only one' - that's a good moment. Relief. Company. Affirmation. It's like you're both pieces of a flint, and when your secrets strike on another, a spark of hope flies. 'Maybe we're not crazy. Maybe there's a better way. Maybe there's a new way of being a Christian.'"
-from A New Kind of Christian by Brian McLaren-
*
*
I guess this passage from this INCREDIBLE book sums up my thoughts. I am so afraid to breach this subject with other people because I am afraid people would look at me and say, "Oh my gosh! You have totally lost it!" I am not exactly a person who worries about what other people think. But when it comes to where I am in my faith and walk with God, I so long for a kindred spirit. I want someone to talk to about all this. About how I don't enjoy going to church because I have yet to find a church in which I really worship God because He is God, and not because I am "supposed" to worship. Maybe I am really off base. Except that I've had a couple of those moments mentioned above, those, "Yeah, I totally understand" moments. I've just never really followed through with them. I want to follow through with them. I just have never really found anyone else who really wants to dig deeply into those thoughts and pick them apart. Maybe some day soon.
1 comment:
I was the other day wondering why people judge and after deep thought, analysis and research I concluded is human nature, you cannot avoid it. Judging is like a feeling, anger, happiness, is there, express itself and you cannot control it.
You can control the outcome (reaction) of the feeling, but not the feeling itself.
So people will like to judge and the results will be agreement or disagreement. In disagreement you have an spectrum of reactions: some people don't care, some respect your opinion others will try to convince you and those who tells you are wrong.
It's difficult to deal with this kind of people specially when they make you think you are crazy just for thinking different.
Those are the kind of people that when told the planet was round and not flat, told that was crazy.
Those are the kind of people that burned people in the inquisition because their action was different.
I understand what you might be feeling. And the more you understand people you get to hold many interesting views just for being afraid.
You are not crazy, you are in the search, you have questions and no answers or half bake ones. We are told to just believe without questioning. But what if you have questions, feelings about something?
You are not crazy. Keep looking, keep search just do not become obsessive and remember, with knowledge comes greater responsibilities.
Bless.
Post a Comment