our earth hour

so i'm sitting in my pitch-black apartment preparing to shut down my computer as i observe earth hour 08. pretty exciting. i really do feel like i'm doing something, however small, to facilitate the idea that it's ok for christians to care about the environment with fervor. i wish i had really done more before now to get my friends and family involved. hmmm. i guess earth hour doesn't just have to be a one-time thing, right? why not try this a lot? get loads of people involved. sounds good. ok...time for me to shut everything off.

...i wish i was (java) chipper today...

so i was definitely planning on sitting down to write this long post about how the last two and a half weeks have sucked beyond all reason. there has really been no true cause for this. definitely going to chalk it up to the fact that it's almost spring break.

tomorrow. i just have to make it to 1pm tomorrow. i cannot wait for the break.

yes, i am working the whole week in the admissions office. but do you know what else is happening? i get to spend some quality time with two of my favorite people: amaryah and heather. i'm also going to get to read a lot. i even have a book list for the week:

-on christian liberty by martin luther
-caretakers of our common house by carol lakey hess
-remnant by shane dix and sean williams
-refugee by shane dix and sean williams
-the way of the shepherd by dr. kevin leman
-harry potter and the chamber of secrets
-harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban

i know it is a long list, but all i'm going to be doing during the day is sitting at a desk. all day. i'll also be catching up on battlestar galactica season 3 because season 4 premieres on friday, april 4th.

all that to say, now i'm going to go finish off the java chip ice cream in my freezer and hope for better spirits tomorrow.

...wrong!

yes, as a matter of fact I did laugh my ass off at this:

http://starwrongs.ytmnd.com/

ann now for something different...

I was moved today when I found out that my dear friend ann had my blog listed on her blog. I feel like it is my first step toward legitimacy. So, in the spirit of interblog commentating, I now refer to you the brilliant writing of this amazing woman...

http://eannpickens.wordpress.com/

a song by me

Tempting Me
by me

It's never easy to let go
to sit and watch while life passes
you by day by day; it's snow clouds
rolling lazily overhead tempting you
with the unimaginable outcome of distress

Suicidal snow drifts pile on both sides
of ordinary sanity forsaken, left behind.
It's freezing in the backseat of this
boring matte chevette.
The clouds keep rolling by, tempting me.

I've been here too many times,
shivering, pen and paper meeting, the
stream of my subconscious thought spilling
and me not knowing what else to say
still writing.
The clouds roll over me, tempting.

Suicidal snow drifts pile on both sides
of ordinary sanity forsaken, left behind.
It's freezing in the backseat of this
boring matte chevette.
The clouds keep rolling by, tempting me.

So this is my last refrain, my last-ditch
effort against the cold that consumes me.
I can't believe it's come to this now.
I'm stuck with no where to go but
out into the blinding dark where
snow clouds pass me by, tempting me.

Suicidal snow drifts pile on both sides
of ordinary sanity forsaken, left behind.
It's freezing in the backseat of this
boring matte chevette.
The clouds keep rolling by, tempting me.

And I give in to the frost on
my slow-beating heart as I drown
in a snow-drift of what ifs.

I give up, I give down, I give in
all around to the me that just
can't fathom who I could be.

Suicidal snow drifts pile on both sides
of ordinary sanity forsaken, left behind.
It's freezing in the backseat of this
boring matte chevette.
The clouds keep rolling by, tempting me.

this week - what the frak

this has been the most emotionally taxing week i've had in a LONG time. it included the death of a friend, a new obsession being introduced to my life, some good grades. what an emotional roller coaster.

monday when i found out that stephen died, i completely broke down. i mean completely. i havent just sobbed like that since ms. bank passed away three years ago. i didnt know what to do or where to go. i just told my supervisor (i was at work) that i couldn't work anymore and got up and left. i'm walking down campus in this cloud of shock and my feet just took me to our university ministries lounge. i was desperate to just let it all out, but i typically don't seek people out when that happens. so i ended up in guy's office surrounded by him, micah, and christy just sobbing. it felt awful...but at the same time so good. i realized i was hurting for my sister and brother-in-law and the families that this affected. and it hurt. it still hurts. at every turn this week my mind and heart have ended up back on stephen. and the only feeling i can offer is that it hurts.

then wednesday i get back my last doctrine test (which i nailed). i sat there and read that my professor liked an idea i presented in one of my essays. one of my faults is that i often judge my academic worth on the opinions of my professors. it's not healthy. i'm aware. but it still feels REALLY good.

last thursday night i watch the pilot/miniseries of battlestar galactica with my friends jamie and brandon. i went into it thinking that it was probably gonna suck. i went into it thinking that i was absolutely not going to get addicted. today is friday. i am half-way through the second season. and it's all brandon's fault. i would say that it's jamie's fault too, but everyone knows he's a cylon, so it's in his nature.

needless to say, this week has sucked. a lot. but it's also been really good. so, i'm gonna say that this week was a draw. tonight, i'm watching an eddie izzard dvd and laughing my ass off. i'm so excited. heck, i might even invite some people over.