this has been the most emotionally taxing week i've had in a LONG time. it included the death of a friend, a new obsession being introduced to my life, some good grades. what an emotional roller coaster.
monday when i found out that stephen died, i completely broke down. i mean completely. i havent just sobbed like that since ms. bank passed away three years ago. i didnt know what to do or where to go. i just told my supervisor (i was at work) that i couldn't work anymore and got up and left. i'm walking down campus in this cloud of shock and my feet just took me to our university ministries lounge. i was desperate to just let it all out, but i typically don't seek people out when that happens. so i ended up in guy's office surrounded by him, micah, and christy just sobbing. it felt awful...but at the same time so good. i realized i was hurting for my sister and brother-in-law and the families that this affected. and it hurt. it still hurts. at every turn this week my mind and heart have ended up back on stephen. and the only feeling i can offer is that it hurts.
then wednesday i get back my last doctrine test (which i nailed). i sat there and read that my professor liked an idea i presented in one of my essays. one of my faults is that i often judge my academic worth on the opinions of my professors. it's not healthy. i'm aware. but it still feels REALLY good.
last thursday night i watch the pilot/miniseries of battlestar galactica with my friends jamie and brandon. i went into it thinking that it was probably gonna suck. i went into it thinking that i was absolutely not going to get addicted. today is friday. i am half-way through the second season. and it's all brandon's fault. i would say that it's jamie's fault too, but everyone knows he's a cylon, so it's in his nature.
needless to say, this week has sucked. a lot. but it's also been really good. so, i'm gonna say that this week was a draw. tonight, i'm watching an eddie izzard dvd and laughing my ass off. i'm so excited. heck, i might even invite some people over.
monday when i found out that stephen died, i completely broke down. i mean completely. i havent just sobbed like that since ms. bank passed away three years ago. i didnt know what to do or where to go. i just told my supervisor (i was at work) that i couldn't work anymore and got up and left. i'm walking down campus in this cloud of shock and my feet just took me to our university ministries lounge. i was desperate to just let it all out, but i typically don't seek people out when that happens. so i ended up in guy's office surrounded by him, micah, and christy just sobbing. it felt awful...but at the same time so good. i realized i was hurting for my sister and brother-in-law and the families that this affected. and it hurt. it still hurts. at every turn this week my mind and heart have ended up back on stephen. and the only feeling i can offer is that it hurts.
then wednesday i get back my last doctrine test (which i nailed). i sat there and read that my professor liked an idea i presented in one of my essays. one of my faults is that i often judge my academic worth on the opinions of my professors. it's not healthy. i'm aware. but it still feels REALLY good.
last thursday night i watch the pilot/miniseries of battlestar galactica with my friends jamie and brandon. i went into it thinking that it was probably gonna suck. i went into it thinking that i was absolutely not going to get addicted. today is friday. i am half-way through the second season. and it's all brandon's fault. i would say that it's jamie's fault too, but everyone knows he's a cylon, so it's in his nature.
needless to say, this week has sucked. a lot. but it's also been really good. so, i'm gonna say that this week was a draw. tonight, i'm watching an eddie izzard dvd and laughing my ass off. i'm so excited. heck, i might even invite some people over.
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