so i'm in chattanooga right now having just finished an admissions event. it's been really fun traveling around the southeast doing these parties and getting to share with admitted students why i love belmont.
but tonight something different happened. i met ruby. ruby is a black lady who works as a custodian at the hotel where we had our event. she looked tired. she seemed frustrated that people were walking where she was trying to mop. she warned people to be careful because the floor was wet, but no one paid her any attention. on my way out after our party, i stopped and asked ruby how her day had been. she said it had been terrible. her blatant honesty showed me that no one had cared all day, and that she just needed to verbalize it. my heart broke. i told her that i hoped it would get better this evening and that i hoped she could get some rest tonight. and i walked on to the bathroom.
in the bathroom my mind raced. here we were, a group of middle/upper class white people in a hotel that caters to the middle and upper class of america doing an event to try and get people to choose a college that costs a lot of money to attend. and here, having a shitty day, was a woman who must be under-appreciated (as most custodians are). and again i found myself wishing i was someone other than myself. i found myself wishing i could understand so that my words would be more than just words. my heart broke even more.
i came out and saw her again as she called out to me to thank me for asking her about her day. i asked if i could hug her and she said yes. the embrace was filled with an empathy i have rarely felt with anyone. i asked if i could pray for her, and she said yes. i prayed for her rest and her spirit. i prayed that her days would improve. i prayed that she would feel appreciated. i finished and we opened our eyes. hers were filled with tears. she thanked me again, we hugged again, and i left. my heart broke even more.
all i could think about was how today was a shitty day for her, but she still did her job. she still did life. and i realized how selfish i am. how badly i need to reassess my perspectives on so many things. and i got back to my hotel tonight, tired of playing the game. every part of me wants to go back to that place and sit down and ask her why her day was terrible and how i could pray specifically for her and hear her story. but i can't because we have a schedule, and i don't have a car.
tonight was the second time in a week that i have felt compelled to pray with someone randomly, and more and more i realize how much pain there is all around me. and my heart breaks for it. i know that i don't have to carry the burdens of the world, but i feel like if more people felt they needed to help carry the burdens of other people, the Christian church would be so much more united, and world would see a difference. so, here i am. lonely in a hotel room in an unfamiliar town. heartbroken for someone i don't even know. and everything in me just wants to break down and cry.
but the strange part is that it feels so right. and i know in my broken heart that ruby will rest easier because someone is shouldering her burden-filled day with her. and that brings me joy that can come from no place else.
but tonight something different happened. i met ruby. ruby is a black lady who works as a custodian at the hotel where we had our event. she looked tired. she seemed frustrated that people were walking where she was trying to mop. she warned people to be careful because the floor was wet, but no one paid her any attention. on my way out after our party, i stopped and asked ruby how her day had been. she said it had been terrible. her blatant honesty showed me that no one had cared all day, and that she just needed to verbalize it. my heart broke. i told her that i hoped it would get better this evening and that i hoped she could get some rest tonight. and i walked on to the bathroom.
in the bathroom my mind raced. here we were, a group of middle/upper class white people in a hotel that caters to the middle and upper class of america doing an event to try and get people to choose a college that costs a lot of money to attend. and here, having a shitty day, was a woman who must be under-appreciated (as most custodians are). and again i found myself wishing i was someone other than myself. i found myself wishing i could understand so that my words would be more than just words. my heart broke even more.
i came out and saw her again as she called out to me to thank me for asking her about her day. i asked if i could hug her and she said yes. the embrace was filled with an empathy i have rarely felt with anyone. i asked if i could pray for her, and she said yes. i prayed for her rest and her spirit. i prayed that her days would improve. i prayed that she would feel appreciated. i finished and we opened our eyes. hers were filled with tears. she thanked me again, we hugged again, and i left. my heart broke even more.
all i could think about was how today was a shitty day for her, but she still did her job. she still did life. and i realized how selfish i am. how badly i need to reassess my perspectives on so many things. and i got back to my hotel tonight, tired of playing the game. every part of me wants to go back to that place and sit down and ask her why her day was terrible and how i could pray specifically for her and hear her story. but i can't because we have a schedule, and i don't have a car.
tonight was the second time in a week that i have felt compelled to pray with someone randomly, and more and more i realize how much pain there is all around me. and my heart breaks for it. i know that i don't have to carry the burdens of the world, but i feel like if more people felt they needed to help carry the burdens of other people, the Christian church would be so much more united, and world would see a difference. so, here i am. lonely in a hotel room in an unfamiliar town. heartbroken for someone i don't even know. and everything in me just wants to break down and cry.
but the strange part is that it feels so right. and i know in my broken heart that ruby will rest easier because someone is shouldering her burden-filled day with her. and that brings me joy that can come from no place else.
1 comment:
I love you, brother.
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