so i am growing up, apparently. hmm. it is kind of depressing. i am pretty much done with every commitment i have at spain park except for actually going to class. park singers is over.
that statement brings both depression and despair. my family is about to be dispersed to the winds. my dear park singers. i am so completely freaked out about leaving them behind that the mere thought of it slams into me with the weight of a ton of bricks. sadness engulfs me even as i tell members who are not graduating that next year will be even better.
the scary thing is that it probably will be. i have never known park singers not to work that way.
what scares me the most, and this is my number one fear, is being forgotten. what is to say that i won't be. next year could be so amazing that, by the following year, i will be barely a memory. i am not content to be just a memory. that is why going to belmont scares me too. i am taking nothing but my experiences with me to college. there is not a single park singer going with me. i am quitting cold turkey. that makes me more sad than anything else in this world. how am i going to manage it.
i wish most of all that they knew how much i love every one of them.
if you read this, know that i love you all, and i will miss you.
thats all i have for tonight.
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