why i love sec football

i have to take this from my brother-in-law because his writing is brilliant, and it perfectly captures my feelings:

*

When we're talking about college football, in the southeast, it's an obsession unlike anything else. No cultural phenomenon besides religion --- and sociologists have written papers calling southern college football a religion unto itself -- has as widespread an effect on southerners' lives as college football. Kids are named after coaches. Wedding dates are changed so games can be watched. Vacations are planned around bowl games. It infiltrates every aspect of many people's lives.

*

The key to SEC football -- the reason it has such an obsessive following -- is because it's the best. And it's the best, quite simply, because it has to be. If teams from the west coast or the midwest don't perform, then some die-hard fans will take it pretty hard, and everyone else will go about their lives. But in towns like Tuscaloosa or Oxford or Athens or Knoxville, when their teams are losing, then the tea isn't so sweet, the porches aren't so inviting, the heat isn't so bearable, and the Holy Spirit isn't quite so immanent.

*
And this is why it's the best. When you live in states that rank in the bottom 10 in education, when your economy is lagging and blue-collar jobs are being outsourced overseas, you need to be the best at something. So money is poured into these programs, attracting the best coaches. Children are bred for gridiron greatness, and when they hit 18, they're on their way to State U, meaning these schools get the best athletes. It feeds on itself.

*

as to SEC etiquette:

Girls, buy dresses -- at least one for every home game -- in your team's colors. Guys, wear an oxford shirt and chinos. Put the whiskey -- Jack Daniel's if you're an SEC West team, Jim Beam if you're in the East -- in your inside blazer pocket. Remember your chants, especially before kickoffs and after touchdowns. Other than that, just yell until you pass out.